Two years ago I was flying to New Mexico for a conference when we flew through 70 minutes of intense storm. I was unfortunately sitting in the back of the plane that was thwomping up and down.
I fly once a year and always take motion sickness medication, so I don't vomit. I'm not cognitively afraid of flying. But my body always interprets the sensations to mean that something is not right.
In fact, it feels that something is terribly wrong.
(I can't really blame it. I don't think evolution has caught up to speeding through the air at 600 miles per hour.)
At the end of the flight, I did end up puking all over the place. 🤮 But before that happened- and my fellow travelers kindly handed me their napkins and water cups- I spent half an hour shaking uncontrollably in my seat.
The woman next to me was a lifelong meditator (coming out of a Catholic contemplative tradition). She asked if I knew how to meditate or breathe deeply. I laughed and cried while explaining that I teach meditation ALL THE TIME. 🤣 🤣 🤣
I was trying my best, but I could not control my nervous system. So she compassionately told me distracting stories in an attempt to help soothe me.
No matter where I focused my attention, nor how much ice I put on my neck and wrists, I could not control my muscles from spasming. It was one of the weirdest sensations in my life.
I finally understood what my clients have been talking about for years.
It was my first panic attack.
20 years prior, I had been on a flight coming home from Guatemala, when my plane had a real emergency.
A dog in the luggage storage under the plane had gotten out of his cage and chewed through the electrical wires. We had to make an emergency landing. Oxygen masks dropped down and everyone silently put them on (those annoying instructional videos actually program us well!). At that time, I was amused. I got out my camera and took a picture of myself smiling under the O2 mask.
That was before I became a parent and had the many stressors of this postmodern life. That was before I spent 5 years supporting dying children and their parents in a children's ER, trying to regulate my nervous system in the literal face of horrendous traumas. Back in 2004, my nervous system wasn't primed for high anxiety; I was at a medium-low level. I would have rare reactions with a small hyperarousal and shut down response when I'd get motion sick. Dramamine was usually enough to manage it. However, I'd always been really sensitive, including when I happily tried to give blood in high school and my vasovagal response made me faint.
I never feel scared or think anything is wrong. But my body does.
If you've had a panic attack, then you can relate to how out of control it feels and how embarrassing and worrisome it can be.
Panic attacks more often happen without prediction or identifiable triggers. They arise when there is big underlying stress. They are arise from PTSD. There can be signs the body interprets as current danger, while other times it may be trying to let a repressed, stressful memory from childhood come up and heal.
You can read more about the basic physiology of panic attacks here (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/anxiety/panic-attacks) .
Since my New Mexico flight, I have had a few more occasions where my body has started those eerie panic sensations. When not stuck strapped in a small seat flying 7 miles above the earth, I've successfully intercepted them with a variety of techniques such as: distraction, funny rock music, and long-exhale breathing.
I just saw a new option to intercept panic attacks.
I haven't gotten to try it out yet... but I wanted to share!
Because new strategies give me hope, experimentation, and more humor.
Overall, what I'm doing is trying to keep my baseline nervous system really grounded and calm, so there is a lovely home to come back to and to anchor in most of the time.
Life is weird. So weird.
Let's be kind to each other about it.
❤️
If you don't get panic attacks but have a friend who does, here's some VeryWellMind (https://www.verywellhealth.com/how-to-help-someone-having-a-panic-attack-7974637) ways to support them.
** Helping Someone Through a Panic Attack by Phone
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* Listen to their needs: Try asking, “What do you need from me right now?” or “What would help you?”
* Validate their feelings: Let the person know you’re there for them by offering supportive, validating statements, such as, “That sounds so hard. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way right now. I’m here for you.” You can also do this via text.
* Help them focus on something else: When a panic attack starts, some people may want to distract themselves by talking about something else. If the other person says this would help them, try changing the subject to a pleasant topic you know they enjoy.
* Help them breathe more deeply: Many people breathe shallowly and/or rapidly during a panic attack. This can exacerbate symptoms of anxiety (https://www.verywellhealth.com/anxiety-symptoms-5086955) . Encourage the person to slow down and take a few deep breaths in and out while you’re on the phone with them.
** How to Comfort Someone in Front of You
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* Stay calm: While it may be tempting to start panicking yourself or match the other person’s energy, staying as calm as possible is important. Speak slowly, breathe deeply (https://www.verywellhealth.com/breathing-exercises-for-anxiety-5088091) , and avoid getting impatient or distressed.
* Suggest a change of location: Taking someone out of the environment where they started panicking may help to ease their distress, particularly if you’re in a public place. Try moving them to a more quiet location.
* Encourage them to sit down: Some people don’t know what to do with their bodies during a panic attack, which can worsen symptoms. Suggest that the other person get comfortable by sitting or even lying down.
* Give them something to focus on: For example, you can ask the person to focus on an object in the room or sensory information in their environment, such as smell or sound. You can also ask them to watch you while you do something simple, such as raising and lowering your arm.
* Encourage movement: Taking a short walk around the block together or simply focusing on an easy, gentle movement can help to reduce anxiety.
I'm living this life with you. Let's find ways to love it. 💐
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