Cultural belonging is not a destination on a road past cultural appropriation. We’re always living in relationships that have potential to evoke a sense of mutual respect and true knowing, or discord and offense. It’s an ongoing dynamic of experiencing and evaluating.
Hopefully, we can experience a cultural belonging that feels rooted, expansive, and emotionally comfortable most of the time. Frequent assessment, self-initiated education, and openness to feedback and change does not require hypervigilance and anxiety. But it may require some courage through discomfort and self-compassion.
What is cultural belonging?
Cultural belonging refers to an environment that supports all three elements of comfort, connection, and contribution. Everyone appreciates you for what you bring to the group, there is a genuine desire for meaningful
relationships, and there is an appreciation for the differences between people. Read more here. (https://www2.deloitte.com/us/en/insights/focus/human-capital-trends/2020/creating-a-culture-of-belonging.html)
To be transparent, sometimes I question my cultural belonging. I can irrationally doubt how much people want my friendship or appreciate my contributions. I wonder if I’m doing “enough right.” The kind of regular, deep human connection I seek- sometimes feels absent. (In those times, I focus on my relationship with plants, animals and elements, and with the parts of myself that need tending.)
The truth is that I have amazing friends and great spiritual community, but we're spread out like most folks are in our current geo-capital-economic model. I’m also geographically distanced from my family of origin. I’ve longed to live in an ecovillage, and someday I might get there.
So how do I cultivate a stronger sense of belonging when I’m in a moment of questioning my place in community?
I practice sinking into what gives me a sense “internal home” and “chosen family” and “authentic me-ness within authentic we-ness.”
The first, my internal home, arrives from my personal work of becoming comfortable with myself- all my inner parts of self (aka the voices in my head) belong to me, and I know how to manage a rocky inner dialogue until we find comfort and connection. Thanks, therapy! I also choose to actively cherish and nurture my friendships- my chosen family. And I work on being the person I think is the best “me” within community. That one’s still a learning curve and a challenge sometimes.
But even the act of trying helps me feel I belong, because to be a person who tries to do justice and honor others’ cultures and needs is to belong to myself- to my intentions toward ideals.
Evan Bissell says,
“Culture plays a vital role in understanding what it means to be human and our particularly human needs. Culture does not just talk to the conscious, it feeds the spirit. We are meaning-making, spiritual animals, and the spiritual part is transmitted through culture. Culture has taught us the power of seeing ourselves interconnected in a web of mutuality, as Dr. King put it."
“A culture of belonging recognizes that we are always in a state of dynamic action and reaction. Belonging is never done and will constantly have to be remade. We’re in the midst of constructing new ways to see and new ways to be. This is not always comfortable, but it is part of our human experience.”
Read more: "Notes on a Cultural Strategy for Belonging” OCTOBER 23, 2019. (https://belonging.berkeley.edu/notesonaculturalstrategy)
When the ways I act make it harder for other people to be seen, celebrated, or centered, then I’m not really belonging. That’s pseudo-belonging, where I feel good about myself or important enough to “belong,” but at the expense of another, which means the whole circle of community is out of balance. Since we’re all interconnected, my belonging is only as real as yours is. Otherwise, I belong to my separated ego state in the limelight.
And at the same time, I find it debilitating to be obsessively thinking about whether I’m doing a “good enough” job of attending to my cultural missteps and possibly offensive behavior.
Does this resonate with you?
So if we want to be aware of- but not immobilized by- the need to reflect and assess our participation in cultural appropriation and cultural belonging,
how
can
we
do
this?
In another blog, I’ll share some of the questions I ask myself periodically.
For now, I’ll say that it's important to listen to our heart or gut when something feels off. And to mindfully take action. If something feels uncomfortable, or throws a flag, we can calmly and slowly wade into it with curiosity. We can make time for cultural sifting work when something arises, and not ignore our subtle concerns, nor put questions on the back burner.
A Personal Story
For example, one year I attended Yogafest at a retreat center called Chihowa. The name sounded vaguely indigenous, but I didn’t look into it, even after I learned that the retreat center was owned by the Church of Christ. I just rushed on and let it go by. The next year, when I was invited to lead Forest Bathing at the retreat, I paused. I knew I felt discomfort in my heart. By participating in in this retreat, and ignoring what appears could be cultural appropriation, what am I doing? So I started researching.
chihowa = God in Choctaw language
Who are the Choctaw people?
Home - Choctaw Nation of Oklahoma (https://www.choctawnation.com/)
About the Choctaw Nation
The Choctaw Nation is the third-largest Indian nation in the United States, with over 200,000 tribal members and more than 11,000 employees. The first tribe over the Trail of Tears, historic boundaries are in the southeast corner of Oklahoma. The Choctaw Nation’s vision, “Living out the Chahta Spirit of faith, family and culture,” is evident as it continues to focus on providing opportunities for growth and prosperity.
"... in 1847, when the Choctaws, who had only recently arrived over the ruinous "trail of tears and death" to what is now Oklahoma, took up a donation and collected over $5,000 (in today's money) to support the Irish during the Potato Famine."
I thought to myself:
Why is the retreat center called that?
It's run by the Church of Christ, which I know to be a conservative denomination the believes that only Jesus saves people. This alerts me, since historically Christians have oppressed indigenous people.
I wondered...
Can I establish a relationship with the owners or managers and ask them? Do they realize the possible issues? Are they open to dialogue?
Should everyone who attends the retreat learn about this?
How should I introduce this topic? Just during my class, or to the entire retreat by having a flyer? A petition?
Do I contact the Choctaw people and ask them what they would want me to do, or is that more burdening on them?
To be honest again, all this makes me nervous. I don’t particularly enjoy rocking the boat alone.
I would love for there to be a group of people looking into the justice of this. Or to just agree to teach forest bathing and have an easy, connective time. But I can’t do that if it’s at the expense of other people’s erasure. So I take it one step at a time. I contacted the retreat managers through their website:
“Greetings,
I'd love to learn more about the history of your retreat center… I am curious how the retreat center was named. I looked up that it means "God" in Choctaw language, and, I see it is run by the Midlands Mission Center of the Community of Christ. Is there a relationship between the CoC and the Choctaw? Could you share more information?
Best,
Shannon Gorres”
Then I shared the basic information form the Choctaw website with the other teachers of the YogaFest during our preparatory zoom meeting. This made my heart beat pretty fast (again, worried about judgement or rejection) but I did calming breathing exercises and encouraged myself, reminding myself that I'm doing the best I can.
I heard the organizer say this retreat will “give back” to the community by a donation to Just Food. I wondered if we could also make a donation to the Choctaw Nation this year or next year. I began thinking about who is making money off of this retreat, who is able to attend (financial accessibility), and who was invited to teach. By following my heart's discomfort, I opened an inner door to consider the bigger unknown picture that I am taking part in.
Ending
It’s not all my responsibility to change these things, if some could be improved. It is partially my responsibility, opportunity, and privilege. I don't need to get super anxious or obsessive. Or go into savior mentality. But gently, compassionately, and thoughtfully I can keep exploring the situation.
I wait to see where the conversations might go, and listen to my heart about possible next steps.
🌷
Here’s one last piece of vulnerability.
It’s even a bit difficult to share this personal story. I might be wrong about things in here. I might feel embarrassed. Someone might be mad at me. I might feel sad.
I go through a list of questions in my head:
How helpful could this be?
Could it also be hurtful to some people? Have I examined and attempted to minimize that?
Have I explained enough up front for anyone to opt out of reading it?
If they chose to read it and feel hurt, would they tell me if it was hurtful, so I could change, and how could I honor that if used their precious energy to give me feedback?
Have I read, reflected on, and cited BIPOC voices here?
Have I reviewed what is genuine and what could be performative allyship, and do my best to express my failures and genuine desires and actions to make change?
AND,
I think it’s so crucial to our community development, to our sense of belonging, that we share our true stories. I think that efforting, fumbling, and trying again need to become common talk, even when it comes to difficult topics. That’s how we’ll get to belonging- by attempting to learn and grow with each other’s compassionate feedback and loving engagement. We can build care and kindness together. We can co-create inclusive belonging.
So this is my share on how I’m trying to sift through cultural appropriation to participate in cultural belonging.
🌷 I’d love to hear your share.
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